Starting a Conversation
When starting a conversation lot of the problems people can have include not knowing what to say or how to keep the conversation going once it has been started. If you are able to recognize this problem and have encountered the same in the past here are some tips you may find useful:
- The search for common ground
When starting conversations initially with people you don’t know, try and structure them around common ground subjects.
Some typical common ground subjects include:
Where you live
- Keeping the conversation going
Ask open-ended questions: Why? How? What?
Find the ‘hot button’ topics (topics that you are both interested in).
Be attentive: Learn to listen actively or with Concentration.
Attitude: What can I learn from this person? What is this person really saying?
Don’t be afraid to change the subject!
Talk about yourself
Share experiences (provide details, use dialogue)
- Be in the moment
Create reciprocity: Give feedback, compliments, use names.
Refer to the situation: Surroundings, circumstances, people etc.,
Be light: Use wit and humour. Try gentle self-deprecation (tongue in cheek) or teasing.
- Non-Verbal Communication
Voice: Practice making full, resonant sounds. Speak distinctly, slow down if necessary.
Body language – Practise the ‘S – O – F – T – E – N’ approach:
- Conversation Tips (Business)
Questions you could ask at work or any business related functions:
Describe a typical day on the job?
How did you come up with the idea?
How did you get started in this industry?
What got you interested in Marketing/IT?
What do you enjoy most about it?
Describe some of the challenges in your industry?
What are the trends in you business?
Stay up to date on what’s happening in the world so that you will have plenty of things to talk about. Read the local paper and watch the news so you can knowledgeably participate in the discussions about current events.
Prepare yourself before you attend events where you will meet new people. Rehearse what you will say in front of a mirror (i.e. self-to image method)
Ask many questions as possible. People would like to talk about themselves and their lives. However, make sure you keep the questions simple--don't ask anything too personal or invasive.
Listen to others. People can sense when you’re not really interested in what they have to say. They don’t want to waste time talking to someone who doesn’t listen. You must show a sincere interest in others for them to express a sincere interest in you.
Take note of what is going on around you. Use your surroundings to come up with a good conversation starter.
Smile and look others in the eye. Everyone enjoys being around positive, confident people around them. The more confident you act, the more confident you will become. Relax and stay calm.
Keep practicing. Force yourself to strike up conversations with strangers in different situations. The more you practice, the better you will become at starting conversations.
So, always take initiative step to begin conversation.
Practicing conversations Skills
Kick starting conversations
There is nothing worse, when you are meeting someone for the first time, than that awkward silence after the initial greeting. Kick the silence into orbit with these conversation starters:
How was the day?
You look really nice, where did you get (item in question)?
How was the job?
Have you seen any movies recently? Did you like it/them?
What kind of music you would like to listen?
What sports and games do you play? How long have you played for?
What interesting things did you do this weekend (week)?
Have you ever been to a local restaurant?
What kind of food do you like?
Where are you from?
Which school did you go to?
Have you ready any book recently? Was it interesting?
What do you normally do for fun?
Do you like (an interest of yours)?
What was the tidy spot you’ve traveled to?
What was the place you haven’t traveled yet that you really wanted to go?
Starting and keeping conversations going
Here are some useful tips to help start and keep conversations going:
Be the first to say hello.
Introduce yourself to others.
Remember people’s name.
Show interest in others. (while they say)
Restating their comments in another way.
Let the natural person come out from within you.
Tell others something interesting about what you do.
Seek some common interests with the other person.
Keep up-to-date on current events.
Seek out other people’s opinions.
Look for the positive aspects of the people you meet.
Listen carefully for free information.
Compliment others about what they are doing or saying.
Prepare for each business or social function you attend.
Starting conversations when out and about
Here are some ideas that you might use to start a conversation when out and about.
Excuse me have you got the time?
Hi, how’s it going? (If it’s sunny you could ask them if they are enjoying the sunshine)
Enjoying the sunshine? or Enjoy the sun-basking.
Hey! What’s up?
To a shop assistant you might say:
‘Can I get your opinion, which one suits me better, blue or white?’
‘At what time do you close today?’
‘At what time do you open tomorrow?’
‘Have you been working here long?’
‘May I know your name please? What do you like about working here?’
Do you know if they have got any part time jobs here? (If you are looking for work)
‘How often do you get in new stock?’
‘I am looking for a birthday present for my niece/nephew; do you have any ideas on what I could get them?’
If you are in a camera shop you could say:
‘Can you please tell me what is the best camera to get?’
‘How long does it take to get the photos developed?’
If you want to talk to a woman who you see in the street or who is in a shop, if she is looking at a particular product you could go over and say something like:
‘Have you decided yet which one to buy, I rate that product sometimes better. Which one are you thinking of getting?’
Here are some ideas for starting conversations when out at social gatherings:
What do you think about the movie/restaurant/party?
Best holiday ever taken?
What one thing would you really like to own?
What’s the suitable age?
Typical day for you?
Of the places you’ve lived which one do you like the best?
Favourite holiday destination?
Worst place you have ever visited?
Most memorable meal you’ve eaten?
Tell me about your family?
Tell me something most people would never guess about you?
What would you do if you won a million pounds?
Tell me about a time when you had too much to eat or drink?
Tell me about a time that you lost a job?
Stepping out of your comfort zone
If you are a shy person, then you already know how hard it is to overcome the shyness. It is difficult mainly because it involves stepping outside of your comfort zone. This isn’t easy at the best of times (for anybody), yet the potential rewards even for the smallest steps are always worth striving for, little by little it can be done.
The following exercises are all designed to get you to confront your fears head on and make progress on combating your shyness for good. The sooner you try one of these exercises the sooner you will reap the benefits.
They may seem intimidating at first, but enough determination and courage they can be accomplished.
Set yourself a target at first or perhaps once a week and them as you start to feel more and more confident increase the frequency of each activity. Ideally try and work through all of them, although to start with, you can choose the one that you feel most comfortable with.
Ask someone for something, for example a favour or for some money.
Say no without giving a reason.
Give someone a compliment, e.g. someone’s appearance.
Give someone a gift for no reason at all.
Try something new, for example with food.
Take two social risks.
1. Go somewhere you don’t feel comfortable or don’t like going.
2. Have dinner by yourself at a restaurant.
3. Start a conversation with a stranger.
4. Talk to someone who is difficult to talk to.
5. Bringing up a difficult subject with someone.
Take the lead in conversation. Do not lapse into passivity.
Even at the risk of being misunderstood, tell someone that you are fond of them.
Tell someone that there is something about him or her that you dislike. Try and break it to them gently and not bluntly.
Do something that attracts attention in a public situation.
Take the initiative to arrange something.
Talk to someone you haven’t spoken to in the last 5 years.
Now some of these exercise may feel intimidating at first, but feel the fear and do them anyway, you will feel great afterwards and the long term benefits will certainly make up for any short term hardships as you become more socially confident and overcome your shyness.
Plan of action
Sometimes it can be useful to have a plan of what to say before you go out to practice your conversation skills.
Here are some ideas to help get you taking when out and about.
Go up and start a conversation where the person you are talking to is paid to talk to you (restaurants, shops etc.).
Ask for directions from total strangers ever if you know where something is, once you have done this ask them a question about something else.
Go into shops and ask opinions about certain things or products that are on sale.
Go to art galleries and make comments about the art to other people.
Go to travel agents and ask about the most popular travel destinations.
Do all of the above numerous times in a day if you have to, don’t just try it with a few people and leave it at that.
Once you start talking if it doesn’t go well move on quickly and start again, nobody will know you are trying to overcoming your shyness, the more people you talk to the easier it will get. It doesn’t matter how nervous you feel DO IT ANY WAY!!!
Responding to a Conversation
Effective responses for healthy communication are those perceived as being empathetic, caring, warm and thoughtful. The eight responses listed are in the order of most effective to least effective. Remember, however, that each of these responses could be effective depending on the context in which it was used.
Study each response, including the examples. Which responses would be most likely to create healthy interpersonal relationships? Repair damaged relationships?
An understanding response is most likely to create a climate where honest, frank communication can occur. It is a feelings--oriented response which conveys sensitivity and understanding. Strong negative feelings can become a barrier to communication; this response can diminish those feelings. Understanding is empathy, or accurately tuning in to what the other person is feeling at the time. It implies listening beyond the words and reflecting the feelings.
Understanding Response Examples:
You’re feeling discouraged and wonder what’s the use.
You’re offended and angry.
You’re excited over your new assignment.
You seem pleased to have been selected.
By focusing on others’ feelings you are recognizing them as individuals, persons worthy of your concern. This type of response can reduce hostile feelings in normal persons. It can also be sued with persons when they are over-emotional, crying or fearful, to get beyond those feelings or reactions. Understanding or empathy can repair a damaged relationship.
The clarification response indicates your interest to comprehend what the other is saying or to identify the most significant feelings that are emerging. It indicates that what others are saying is important, and you are checking it out to ensure your perceptions. This can be done in several ways: echoing the last few words spoken, summarizing the points that seem most relevant of paraphrasing. A response of this nature can be followed profitably by a period of silence. This gives the others a chance to draw thoughts together to correct your impression. Clarification responses reinforce your desire to see from the other’s point of view.
Clarification Response Examples:
* I gather that you were able to manage your married life before your baby was born.
* You seem to be saying that you were happier in
and that you would like to go back again. California
* Let’s see, what you want to do is find a more challenging job?
* If I hear you correctly, you are saying that you could devise a better way of doing this.
This response is useful in reducing hostility. It not only encourages the others to explain more fully, but also serves to focus the discussion, especially when followed by silence on your part. It gives the others a chance to draw their thoughts together and to take responsibility for coming up with their own ideas. Another use for clarification responses is to stall for time to think of a more appropriate response.
Self-disclosure shows your attempts to give others insight into who you are. It is sharing something about yourself that relates directly to the conversation: your personal beliefs, attitudes, values or an event from your past. Self-disclosure can reduce anxiety by reassuring others that they are not alone in their feelings or fears.
Self-disclosure Response Examples:
* When we had our son the doctor treated us that way, too.
* I have always believed that it was better to keep my mouth shut when my parents were fighting.
* Like you, I never felt as if anyone accepted me for the way I was.
* When I was younger, kids always made fun of my weight, the clothes I wore. I know what it is like to stand out in a crowd.
Self-disclosure is useful in connecting with another person who has similar problems or life concerns. In peer support groups this lets newcomers know that they have come to the right place, that there are people here who have experienced similar problems. Over use of this response is not helpful because if focuses attention on the wrong person. It can be viewed as an attention-getting device. Use sparingly for the best effect.
Like it sounds, the question response seeks to elicit information. It allows others to develop a point. Open questions focus on the others’ general situation, thoughts, reactions and feelings. They tend to promote communication. Closed questions focus on specific facts or aspects of the others situation, generally evoking “yes” or “no” answers.
Questioning Response Examples:
* Do you get along well with your boss? (Closed)
* Can you tell me about your boss? (Open)
* Do you like the new house? (Closed)
* What do you like about the new house? (Open)
* Is this confusing you? (Closed)
* What is it that’s confusing you (Open)
Open questions are recommended for exploring a broad topic. Closed questions can be interspersed to get to specific facts or can be used to cut off long, irrelevant explanations. In either case, listening to the answer, both what is said or what is left unsaid, is vital to the questioning process. Caution is needed with questions beginning with “why.” They pressure the other for an explanation and can cause resentment. “Why” questions can seem to express disapproval, being perceived as a cut-down or criticism.
v Information giving
Information giving involves relating facts in an objective manner without judgment or evaluation. It leaves the other person free to accept or reject the facts. It allows the other to take responsibility for using the information. This response is useful in giving both positive and negative feedback (confrontation). The others relate only to what has actually occurred and the effect that this has had. Words such as “always,” “never,” “should,” “ought,” are only used in setting limits. (The facts about what must or must not be done, time frames and limitations.)
Information giving Response Examples:
* This project has a time frame of six weeks and should not exceed a budget of $850
* Children at every level need touching and nurturing to develop self-worth.
* The support group can be sued to meet others dealing with similar problems.
Responding to others’ feelings with an information response increase the chances of their respecting and following the limits suggested.
Reassurance responses reduce anxiety, diffuse intense feelings and express confidence. They provide a pat on the back, but imply that certain feelings or thoughts should be dismissed as being “normal” or “common.” This response does not foster a relationship, because it tends to discount people’s problems. Clinches fall into this category. Reassurance is often used by people who come upon a situation that is out of their realm of experience; they don’t know what to do or say, and they may be embarrassed.
Reassurance Response Examples:
* Don’t worry. Other people have made it, and so will you.
* Things may look bad now, but it will be OK in the morning.
* You are not really fat.
* Hang in there. Disappointment is a normal feeling.
This response could be reworded into an understanding, clarifying or information-giving response and be more effective. Using as an expression of sympathy in conjunction with other responses can be helpful. For example, instead of “you will manage,” substitute “you have handled this situation before. Relax and use your best judgment. Do what you feel is right for you” (information giving) and “I have confidence in you” (reassurance).
The intent of the analytical response is to analyze, explain on interpret the other person’s behaviour and feelings. It goes beyond whatever the other has said to explain or connect ideas and events. Unlike clarification, this response adds something from your own thoughts, feelings and values. It implies that you are wise, you know more than the other person. Under most circumstances the analytical response leads to resentment in others.
Analytical Response Examples:
* The reason you are having so much trouble with him is that he reminds you of your father whom you hate.
* You often come to our group late because you really don’t feel comfortable here.
* You see her as an authority figure that is why you can’t relate to her.
* You are lonely because you are afraid to risk getting involved with people.
The analytical response is more appropriate for therapists where there is an ongoing counselling relationship and where the patient needs to become aware or certain behaviour or reaction patterns. Even them it sometimes works better to use an information giving response. Interpretation is a poor response to use in confronting a person with behaviour of which you disapprove.
Advice giving is usually unproductive. It implies that you are in a position to know the reasons for the other person’s problems, and what she ought, must or should do about them. You are, thus, judging the goodness, appropriateness, effectiveness or correctness of the other’s actions. Others are being measured by your personal value system and are found somehow lacking. This is a process of blaming others for their own problems.
Advice Giving Response Examples:
* If I were you, I’d write to him and ask him to send you something for the kids. You should get a divorce; it’s the only answer to your martial problems.
* Instead of arguing, you should try to see the other person’s viewpoint.
* You shouldn’t say things like that.
Telling people what to do, take away their responsibility for decisions and problem-solving. Advice often arouses resistance and resentment, even when there is outward compliance. Giving advice, even when requested can, foster dependency. Reword advice into an information-giving response or a question.
How Can Empathy be conveyed?
Responding in a healthy manner means conveying understanding, referred to as empathy. One effective technique used to convey empathy is reflection, which acts as a mirror to provide feedback. It conveys understanding to both the emotional content of what is said and the environmental components (events having an impact on the emotions expressed). Being in tune with others provides valuable feedback, which is useful in improving the effectiveness of your communication.
When others see that what they say and feel is important enough to be listened to, a warm, respectful kindred feeling evolves.
This affinity contributes to unity in the relationship and increase task abilities and motivation. Also, since you become more sensitive to the others’ needs you can respond accordingly. Reflection of empathy means responding with intense interest using different words to convey the original meaning.
Other: I’m really not with this stuff today. All these medical terms you’re throwing out are mumbo jumbo to me, and I couldn’t give a damn about them. I know I’ve gotten a bum deal, and my child has problems.
You: Having new words to learn is pretty frustrating and nerve-racking, especially when you did not ask for any of this.
Other: Yeah, so please help me to understand what I need to do to help him.
It is important that reflective responses be non-judgmental. A judgmental response adds a new conclusion, interprets the other persons’ behaviour as good or bad, or distorts the person’s words. For example:
Other: I don’t know… having a baby just isn’t what I expected. I thought it would make life more exciting, that it would really turn me on. But it seems that my family life is dead end. My husband and I end up sitting around doing nothing. Our marriage is so different now that we have a child.
Poor judgmental reflection: It’s too bad you feel stagnated. It could be exciting if you didn’t just sit around. (This does not indicate that you heard the speaker; it contradicts the speaker, and is judgmental).
Good non-judgmental reflection: You’re saying that having the baby hasn’t given you what you expected--something new and exciting in your marriage.
* Respond in a way that focuses attention on the issues and concerns. Clarify inconsistencies and gather facts quickly and unobtrusively.
* Let the other person know that you are listening and following what is being said. Give an occasional “Yes, I see,” or “Uh--hh.”
* Probe with open-ended statements to gain more information. Use “Tell me more about…”, “Let’s talk about that,” or I’m wondering about …” Responding in this manner is usually more effective than using specific who, what, when, where, and why questions.
* Ask for clarification. For example, “I’m having trouble understanding what you’re saying. Is it that…?” or “Could you go over that again, please?”
* Use understandable words. Listen to the vocabulary of the other person to get a clue to their level of understanding.
* Try not to preach, blame or be demanding.
* Try to avoid straying from the topic.
* Show understanding and sincerity in you responses, so the other person will feel comfortable discussing additional information.
* Try not to talk excessively about yourself. Keep self-disclosure to a minimum.
* Give responses appropriate for the age, sex and emotional state of the other person.
* Avoid responses that put you on the defensive “I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean that,” is a bad approach.
* Be comfortable with silence. Don’t feel that silence needs to be filled with talk. Don’t do all the talking.
* Try to remain neutral and non-judgmental in your response to actions, comments or conditions you find antagonizing, shocking or hostile.
* If you become tangential (straying from the topic) try to refocus the discussion.
* If people become emotional and cry, allow them to cry. Show respect. Don’t stop them, but try to make them feel as comfortable as possible while they are crying.
* Use responsive body language by making eye contact and leaning forward.
Issues to Focus
If your friend is displaying anxiety:
· What is your friend anxious about?
· What situations bother your friend?
· Is this a reaction your friend has been having for a while, or is it a new one?
· Did some particular incident set these feelings off?
· Can your friend remember having felt this way before?
· What other feelings accompany the anxiety?
· Does your friend have any idea why the anxious feelings have occurred?
· How does the anxiety get in the way now?
· What purpose does the anxiety serve?
· In what ways does it protect your friend?
· Is the anxiety related to you or to the support group? Is it related to the subject matter? Or all of the above?
· Is your friend scared of being scared? Is your friend frightened by the anxiety?
· What does your friend imagine would happen if the feelings were let go?
· If your friend gave the anxiety a voice, what would it say?
If your friend is hurt:
· What situations cause your friend to end up being hurt?
· Does this happen with specific people?
· Is it angry or a sad hurt?
· When your friend is hurt, what is the typical response?
· How do others get the power to hurt your friend?
· How does your friend want others to respond?
· When your friend responds inappropriately, how does it feel?
· Did your friend anticipate being hurt before he entered the relationship?
· Are there ways he contributed or “set up” being hurt?
· How does your friend let others know that he has been hurt?· Has your friend been hurt badly in the past?
· Does one incident stick out in your friend’s mind as being particularly painful?
· If so, what were the consequences for your friend then?
· What needs of your friend are not being met?
If your friend is experiencing guilt:
· What does your friend feel guilty about?
· Is it one particular thing that happened or a lot of things?
· Is your friend afraid somebody will find out?
· What does your friend think would happen if someone found out?
· How would your friend react?
· When your friend felt guilt before, how was it handled?
· Who taught your friend to feel guilty in this kind of situation?
· Does it seem that your friend gave others the power to make her feel guilty?
· What does it mean, in terms of how your friend sees herself, when she feels guilty?
· What would your friend really like to say or do when responding with guilt?
· What consequences does your friend anticipate?
· Is your friend’s guilt relevant, or is it carried over from an earlier period?
If your friend is discussing affection:
· What fears does your friend have about being close to others?
· Is the difficulty in giving affection, receiving it, or both?
· How has your friend handled the need for affection in the past? How loneliness has been handled?
· How would your friend like people to show their affection?
· Have there been times in your friend’s life when affection was really needed and it didn’t come?
· In retrospect, can your friend see any reason why he didn’t get affection? Was part of it his inability to respond?
· Does your friend make it difficult for others to respond warmly and affectionately to him?
· Does your friend see parts of himself as being unlovable?
· If so, how did your friend learn that?
· How does your friend let others know that he needs them to care?
· Does your friend experience the ambivalence of being afraid of affection and wanting it at the same time?
If your friend is angry:
· Does your friend feel angry all the time, or just in specific situations?
· What is it that makes your friend angry?
· How does your friend express anger---physically, verbally or by holding it inside?
· What value judgment does your friend put on being angry?
· Does the anger get displaced to relatively unimportant situations?
· With whom is your friend angry? Why?
· How does your friend deal with other people’s anger?
· What have been the consequences of your friend’s anger in the past?
· When people important in your friends’ life fight with each other angrily, what does your friend imagine would happen?
· Is your friend afraid of the anger that will destroy, or is your friend afraid of the anger will have no impact?
Program for Improving Responses
This program is designed to help you improve your responses towards people.
Eight responses with a high probability of creating healthy communication are presented. The responses are highly rated because they are perceived as empathic, caring, warm and person-centered.
The eight facilitating responses are listed from the least (1) to the most facilitating (8):
- Advice or evaluation indicates your judgment of relative goodness, appropriateness, effectiveness or correctness.
- Analytical or interpretation shows your intent to teach, to impact insight or to show meaning.
- Reassuring or supportive implies your intent to reduce the anxiety or intense feelings in the other person.
- Information giving signals your desire to share basic, needed information with the other person.
- Probe or question reveals intent to seek additional information, provide further discussion, to query.
- Self-disclosure exhibits your intent to share the fact that you have experienced what the other person has.
- Summary or clarification denotes your intent to understand what the other person is saying, or to identify the most significant ideas or feelings that seem to be emerging.
- Understanding or reflection conveys your understanding or ability to “read” others’ feelings.
Having telephone conversations in a second language can be very stressful. If you don’t know what to say, it is very common to feel nervous in any conversation. This is true even when speaking in your native tongue. One of the main reasons people get nervous is because they aren’t prepared and know they might make mistakes during the conversation.
To improve confidence on the phone you must learn what to say. The first thing you should do to improve your telephone communication ability is to start out small by learning simple vocabulary and phrases. Start by knowing different greetings. It is so easy when learning English to try to do too much too soon and then get frustrated with not being able to speak as you had imagined. You have to start small, gradually developing skills and slowly working up to something more difficult.
Relax and enjoy yourself as well. Everyone knows learning a language can be frustrating! Don’t worry if you make mistakes. Native speakers of English understand that you won’t say everything the exact same way that they would. You shouldn’t feel that you can’t make any mistakes, no one expects you to be perfect.
One should read examples on English telephone conversations; examples of sentences and phrases you should know, from the start until the end of a telephone conversation everything all the way from greetings to goodbyes.
All speakers feel a little nervous, at least when starting a presentation. That is quite natural. As the speaker, you are the centre of attention and you know that everybody is looking at you. What you need to communicate is a feeling of confidence and relaxation. Your body can help you to do this. The clothes you wear, the way you stand or walk, your facial expressions, your hand and arm movements - these are the language of your body, your body language.
Body language communicates at least as much as words. Even when you are not speaking, even before you start speaking, your body is communicating to your audience.
Actors use body language very effectively. They cannot act without body language. Every time you watch a film on television or in the cinema, you are watching actors using body language to convey a particular character, an emotion, a feeling, a situation.
So look on body language as a positive, powerful tool to help you in your mission.
· First of all, your appearance (clothes, hair etc)! It is essential that you dress appropriately and have well-groomed hair. Your audience will be distracted if your clothes are sloppy or flashy.
· Smile! When you enter, or as you are being introduced, smile warmly. Not too much! It should be a warm and sincere smile. You may feel nervous at this time. But this is when the audience is assessing and analysing you. So stand erect and remain calm.
· Do not lean on the podium or table. Leaning on a support suggests to your audience that you are weak or nervous.
· Continue to smile slightly at the beginning of your presentation. Then become gradually a little more serious as you tell your audience what you are going to talk about.
· Do not point your finger at the audience. This can seem very aggressive. If you want to use your hands, show your open palms with your hands spread wide. This is generally an appealing, positive gesture.
· Use occasional arm movements to underline important points. If you wave your arms around all the time, you will simply distract your audience. You will not communicate your real message. But the occasional arm movement can be useful in stressing something important.
· Look at your audience. Maintain eye contact. Make eye contact with every person in the room. Do not look only at one person. Look at each person individually, as though you are talking to that person as an individual. Would you buy a car from a car salesman who refused to look at you when talking to you?
· Do not walk around too much. It may make you feel better to walk up and down like a lion in a cage, but it is distracting for your audience. However, you can certainly walk a little, change your position occasionally, perhaps to make an important point or just to add variety to your presentation.
· Use your head! Movements of your head and expressions of your face can add weight to what your words are saying. When making a negative point, you can shake your head from side to side. When making a positive point, you can nod your head up and down. You can raise your eyebrows, for example, or remove your glasses for special effect or to underline a point.
· Control your voice! Speak slowly and clearly. To underline a special point, go even more slowly. Repeat a sentence if it is important. That's right. Repeat a sentence if it is important. You can also say the same thing again in a different way. Let your voice go up and down in volume (speak loudly, then quietly). And - sometimes - you can just stop speaking completely. Say nothing for a short time. A silent pause is a very powerful way of communicating.
Gestures are a form on nonverbal communication in which visible bodily actions are used to communicate particular messages, either in place of speech or together and in parallel with spoken words. Gestures include movement of the hands, face, or other parts of the body. Physical non-verbal communication such as purely expressive displays, proxemics, or displays of joint attention differs from gestures, which communicate specific messages. Gestures are culture-specific and can convey very different meanings in different social or cultural settings. Although some gestures, such as the ubiquitous act of pointing, differ little from one place to another, most gestures do not have invariable or universal meanings but connote specific meanings in particular cultures. A single emblematic gesture can have very different significance in different cultural contexts, ranging from complimentary to highly offensive.